Really? That's your opinion?

Ok so.... I would first like to say thank you to those of you who are supporting Samantha and I in our decision to move to Charlotte. While some of the negative advice we have gotten is appreciated and I will still look to you for input on future decisions, I feel as if some you don't fully understand the relationship Samantha and I have despite my efforts do be discreet about things. So with that said, I feel as though the negative advice we have gotten is under the assumption of others that Samantha and I are having sex. THIS IS NOT THE CASE. I can assure your that WE ARE NOT HAVING SEX. In fact I feel that because we are not having sex, our relationship is that much stronger because not only do we respect the boundaries God has set for us, but we also respect each other's boundaries as well.

It almost humors me how passionate people get when offering us advice on how we should get married because statiscally, those who move in together before getting married end up getting divorced. Where is the statistic that shows that those people are Christians and are not having sex? To go along with the previous point, how much higher is the divorce rate when people rush into marriage? Marriage is a big decision. A much bigger decision than moving in together(not that moving in together is not one, because it is). I just think it is a bit ridiculous for people to be concerned about us getting divorced later in life, but then want us to rush into a marriage that not only are we not ready for, but we do not have money for. "Just go to the courthouse" you say? Umm... no. It actually makes it worse because then when we do move in together and say it doesn't work out, now not only are we put in a living situation where we have to work out financial details, but we are also divorcees. It's called preparation people. The truth of the matter is, nobody knows our relationship better than us and God. So don't assume things are going on in our relationship that may or may not be going on. Let me clarify again, I say may or may not assuming that there are probably other things people are assuming about us but WE ARE NOT HAVING SEX. There is a great saying that goes, "if you assume, you make an ASS out of U and ME." And that is exactly what has happened. I didn't want to be confrontational about this but it tears me apart knowing that close friends want us to rush our relationship even farther into a point of marriage when we are not ready for it and doing what we believe God wants us to do. As far as I know there is nothing in the Bible that states that a man and woman cannot live together before marriage. Sex before marriage? Yes, the Bible clearly states that that is a sin. But do not tell me we are committing a sin by moving in together. That's ridiculous.

To take this into a calmer tone, I understand and appreciate everyone's concern. This is a big step. I pray that you will pray for our relationship and that we continue to grow in Christ together. I still look up to you all and will continue to look to you all for advice. However, if you think that something is going on in our lives, ASK. I am a very honest and upfront person and am willing to talk about your concerns for us. Anyone who has known me over a year should know this.

In closing, thank you all so much again for your concerns but PLEASE.... do not assume things about us. We have both been through a lot and have both grown significantly from the mistakes we have made and are two completely different people than we once were in the past. I just ask that if you do have advice for us think thoroughly about what you are going to say and if you have alternatives, really think if they are going to be better if we rush into them. Thank you so much for your time and I hope I did not offend anybody(not that we haven't already by our decisions). While I may have carried an argumentative tone through most of this post I can assure you I am not holding grudges with anyone. I still love you all just as much and hope to continue our friendship. Church members often disagree on several issues, but the ones we need to be concerned about is if it a salvation issue or not. Co-habitation without marriage, without sex, is not a salvation issue. Thank you once again for you time and have a great day!

A Little Bit of Life

About three years ago I made a decision in my life to quit school and move to Charlotte to work full time with Wachovia(now Wells Fargo). About seven months later I began to wonder why I moved. I often felt saddened at the fact that I was not meeting anybody, hadn't heard from many people in Tallahassee, and that I was beginning to feel like a burden on my brother and sister as they now have their own families and need some time to themselves every once in awhile. Two months later after hard thought and prayer I made the decision to transfer back to Tallahassee and work while attempting to find a way back into FSU.

Now fast forward to today. I am now in a healthy, God centered relationship with an amazing woman, found out who my true friends really are and watched(some of them) mature in almost exactly three years. As most of you know, after much thought and prayer, I will be moving to Charlotte again this coming Saturday. However, this time I know that I will be much more happy. Samantha will be moving in with me(once we find a place to live) and not only will we get to spend time with family(not too much), but we will will also get to participate in the many wondrous things that Charlotte provides. Not only will we get to spend this time together, but a great friend of mine from high school and his family will be moving to Charlotte in June as well. We are all greatly looking forward to this time of transition as we know that this is truly what God wants. These past few days have been very stressful as is any major transition, but less for me and more so for Samantha. In fact, I think I may be starting to scare her as I often feel like she does not think I am taking this decision seriously as I continuously assure her that my laid back attitude is simply coming from that of already making this move once and knowing that everything will work out. Tomorrow will be spent contacting agents about the top 4 properties we are trying to rent and hopefully signing a lease. Although this whole "moving in together" thing may be new to me and while some may not approve, I am comforted knowing that our entire families approve of our decision.

When I think back to all the wondering I did about why I moved to Charlotte and why God wanted me there, I have finally found out.

Here are some reasons why:

1) I needed to escape from the bad relationships I had in Tallahassee and re-center my life around God.

2) I needed to know that even in a strange town, if surrounded by the right people I can enjoy my life.

3) To build professional experience in a city I can call home.

4) I needed to know that I do have real friends, it just takes some distance to realize who they are.

5) While God wants me there, He also wanted others I hadn't met yet in Tallahassee to come with me.

Since the end of October I have been frantically searching for a job and getting discouraged every time I got turned down for one. It wasn't until Samantha lost her job that I realized maybe this was a sign from God to go to a "foreign land" and make an impact on a community that needs Christ. While our decision may have seemed rushed, I can assure you(not that it's your business) that we have thought and prayed numerous times about this decision. While I will greatly miss Tallahassee and all of those who made it so wonderful, I must say that it is time for Tallahassee and I to part ways.

I look around at the friendships I have and as I have gotten older, not only have I taken note of those who are furthering their lives, I have also noticed that some of us are growing apart as well. Not because we don't like each other, but simply that we are growing up and not everybody lives in Tallahassee forever. People get better jobs, people move to be closer to family, some people just need a change of scenery. Every person has significant moments in their life starting with birth. It is usually somewhere in between graduation and beginning your career that you are faced with the decision of taking a leap of faith into a strange area to strive for success, or being "ok" with the way things have turned out rather than seeking the life you always wanted. As I see ourselves and our friends begin to go our separate ways, I know that we will never let distance come between us. All too often people use distance as an excuse as to not communicate with one another, or allow ourselves to forget the friendships we had with those we held so close. The more I think about how little people communicate once a friend's area code changes, the more I begin to think exactly what Alexander Graham Bell would say if he knew that despite the advances in his invention of the telephone, we still did not communicate to those we consider close to us because we simply cannot take 10 minutes out of our day to see how someone is doing. I say all of this to say that every one of you mean something to me. Some more than others, but I will do what I can to keep in touch with you all. I just ask that you do the same.

Hopefully the next post I put up here will be from our new place of residence in the Queen City... Charlotte, North Carolina.

"Sometimes we stare too long at the door that is closing that we see too late the one that is open." - Alexander Graham Bell